Letting them Grow

“There are two gifts we should give our children; one is roots, and the other is wings.”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Well, it is finally happening. Our family is putting down roots. Real roots. Roots that will be able to grow deep and strong. It’s been a long time coming, and has filled me with every emotion imaginable.

When we moved to Virginia from Kansas I never would’ve imagined we would be living in our forever home three years later. And yet, here we are. Last year we decided to build a house here in Yorktown. It was a special experience to be able to see the house being built and to let the kids see the different stages of building. I joked with a friend that I fulfilled that 2-3 year itch to move, but didn’t have to give up any of the things I love about our current location. I don’t think a day has gone by since we closed on the house that I haven’t looked out the back windows and thought how much I love this house and the stability it is giving our kids.

It’s been about 6 months now since we closed, and although there is still work to be done and I’m far from finished with decorating and organizing, it feels good to know that I won’t be packing up all of our belongings in a year or two to start over somewhere new once again. we have lived in 7 different houses or apartments since we got married 14 years ago.

A few weeks ago my husband and I were talking about how transient the military life can feel when you move so often. This led to a discussion about nomadic people and how it isn’t the moving that is burdensome – it’s the moving alone. Most nomadic people travel with the village or group, not just one family leaving and going off on their own. Moving to a new location and not having that “village” to rely on for support is difficult to say the least. Knowing that we aren’t moving again (the goal is getting both kids through high school at least) is thrilling.

In October our oldest had an emergency appendectomy, and I had the small but mighty village we’ve built here. Because of the pandemic and the nature of his job, my husband hasn’t had many work events that include family here. At first I was worried we would never find our people and have a support system without those other military families. I was wrong. We found them – and the best part is that because the majority of them are not military, they won’t be leaving either.

During our 8 nights at the hospital we had friends texting and sending video messages, we had gift bags filled with goodies and cards, balloons dropped off at the hospital and our house. Our son received two bags that contained his favorite movie candy, and I have to admit, the fact that he has friends here that know his favorite movie candy just makes me happier than I can begin to describe. We felt the outpouring of love from our friends and I cannot thank them enough for supporting us and loving us.

It seems silly to make a big deal out of someone knowing your favorite movie candy (it’s Junior Mints by the way, so it’s most definitely not just a lucky guess) but until we moved here our oldest went to three different preschools and one elementary school. Building friendships that last is hard when you move a lot. Add in a pandemic shortly after we arrived here and you can start to see where I’m coming from.

Our roots are growing. Our oldest has been at the same school and the same karate dojo for over three years now. Our youngest just started kindergarten at the same school and is getting ready for another round of baseball in the spring. Stability is important, but the friendships and the mentors and role models that our kids will get to be around for the long run, that’s what we put roots down for. Those are the things that will help them grow, and someday fly.