Is this real life?

“Leadership is solving problems. The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help or concluded you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership.”

– Colin Powell

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently on what it means to be a military spouse during the Trump administration and how it feels to have a Commander in Chief who doesn’t have your back. When news broke that Russia has been offering bounties to the Taliban in Afghanistan on US troops I was deeply saddened, but not surprised. When news broke that our president was briefed on these bounties I was again saddened, and not surprised. Now that this has become public knowledge, it doesn’t even matter if he had been briefed on it (he claims he had not been, contrary to other reports) because he knows about it now. So what has happened? Has our president stood up for our troops and told them this is completely unacceptable? Has he discussed the matter with Putin? The answer is no, he has done none of these things.

When Trump came into office in January of 2017 I had an 8 day old baby, and the world seemed like it was turning upside down. Our home life was changing – hello again, diapers – and the political and social climate of our country was also changing. I tried to keep my chin up and focus on the things I had control over, but I couldn’t help noticing things I didn’t like. We were living in Kansas and I don’t think I saw a sign in a yard or next to a business for Hillary Clinton anywhere. When I took my 4.5 year old with me to cast my vote he asked me who we were voting for. I briefly explained my choice and my reasoning behind it and told him that if she won, Hilary Clinton would be the first woman to become president of the United States. He looked up at me and asked: “Why?” He wasn’t asking me why I was voting for Clinton, he was asking me why was she going to be the first woman to be president. I didn’t have a great answer to give him. I told him I didn’t know why, but that it was pretty exciting to be able to vote for a woman on a presidential ballot. The next morning I had to explain to him that she had not won the election, and that Donald Trump was set to become our 45th president. He was disappointed that the “lady we wanted to win” did not win the election, but quickly moved on to something else and life continued.

Fast forward a few years and my soon to be 8 year old is asking questions about our upcoming election again. He has overheard his father and me talking about current events, politics, social issues etc. We try to let him form his own opinions and tell him the facts of events and things that are happening. His current opinion of our president is that he is not a nice man. That is putting it politely if you ask me.

Our son knows that his dad has a duty to uphold as an active duty member of the United States Army. He also knows that Trump is the Commander in Chief of our armed forces. I have done my best to shield him from issues such as our troops being removed from the Middle East and our Kurdish allies being left to be slaughtered. He doesn’t know that the Russians are paying Taliban fighters to kill US troops. He talks about joining the military some day and it breaks my heart to think of all the parents out there who currently have children serving in our military knowing our president has done nothing to address this issue. Calling it “fake news” is insulting. It is insulting to our troops, their families, and anyone who claims to support them.

A true leader doesn’t use our military and the American spirit and pride of supporting them as a prop. When Trump gave his State of the Union address and brought home a soldier as a surprise homecoming I was filled with conflicting emotions. First I was filled with happiness for the family being reunited – I know that feeling, and it is wonderful! That feeling of happiness quickly shifted to one of anxiousness for that family in the spotlight. A homecoming after deployment is a very personal and emotionally charged moment. It is not one to be politicized and used to show America how much you love our troops. Did he forget about the gold star family who was standing next to them? They never got to experience that happy homecoming. They were probably filled with conflicting emotions as well. Why is it okay to use our military members as political props and publicity stunts?

With the upcoming election I can’t help but ponder how so many people who claim to support our troops also support a man who clearly does not. How can anyone see the moves and decisions he has made and think that he is putting them first and doing what is best for our country?