When the Magic Dies

It’s still magic even if you know how it’s done.

– Terry Pratchett

I’ve had a feeling that this day was coming, but I was hoping I was wrong. A few days ago my oldest, who turned 8 this fall, found out that Dinovember isn’t real. He had been questioning their antics – and even his dad and me – for the first few days, and then one day during lunch he asked me point blank: “Mom, are you the one moving the dinosaurs at night? I want you to tell me the truth.” With those words his world lost some of the magic. I could see in his face that he was struggling with what I was about to say. He desperately wanted me to tell him that of course it wasn’t me moving the dinosaurs at night, but he was also trusting me to tell him the truth. And so I did.

When he was 2 years old we saw an article about a family who brought their dinosaurs to life at night by moving them around the house and having them get into trouble and cause mischief. We decided to give it a try and thus began 6 years of Dinovember. Every night during the month of November our dinosaurs get into mischief. They have accompanied us on trips to visit family over Thanksgiving, tried to make pancakes (a perennial favorite), toilet papered the house, and in general caused much mayhem to the amusement of our boys. It has been something they have looked forward to every year.

This year has been hard. So very hard. In March our oldest had to switch to virtual schooling as the schools around us closed. We couldn’t go out and see friends or family. We had to cancel a few trips we had planned. When school started again in the fall it was all virtual classes again. We were struggling with all of the changes but doing the best we could to keep positive attitudes knowing that for many families things were truly difficult and that we were lucky to be able to adjust to the changes. In mid-October the schools began two days a week of in-person classes. It was another adjustment and change, but one that seemed easier because it felt “normal”.

This year Halloween fell on a Saturday, and although it looked different than it normally does it was still nice to do some safe, socially-distanced trick-or-treating. But once we were home and the costumes were off, the only thing the boys could talk about was Dinovember. It was comforting because it was something that always happens in November. Coming up with new and fun mischief for the dinosaurs to partake in every night for an entire month is quite an undertaking, but seeing the excitement on the boys’ faces when they are telling us what they found each morning after they’ve gone searching for them makes it worth it. The wonder and magic they experienced each morning when they would find the dinosaurs was palpable. I loved those moments. The boys regularly whispered things to the dinosaurs, suggesting new messes they could make, or to thank them for coming to life. We had these magical moments for almost 6 years.

And then it stopped. With one question the magic died. When he asked me for the truth I knew what happened next would change everything. The first thing I did was to send his brother off to watch cartoons so that we could have this all-important discussion without interruption. I knew my logic loving child had already come to the conclusion that the dinosaurs were not magical and coming to life while he slept, but I also knew he very much wanted to believe that it was possible. As we sat on the couch together I told him that he was correct – his dad and I were the ones responsible for the dinosaurs moving and making mischief every night. As I explained this to him I sat watching his face crumple as he lost that last bit of hope that he was wrong. I told him that it was not magic moving the dinosaurs, but love. His dad and I love him (and his brother!) so very much that we wanted to make wonderfully magical memories for them while they grow up. I asked him if he remembered some of the past Dinovembers and how much fun we had. We sat and talked for a while about how sometimes things that we think are magic, are really just love wearing a disguise. As we talked, and cried, he started to understand that we weren’t trying to trick him, but were trying to make fun memories for him to look back on.

The first night after he discovered the truth I asked him if he wanted to help me set up the dinosaurs for his brother and he said that would be great. Bedtime arrived and while I was upstairs reading he set up the dinosaurs. He made a banner that said “We Love You” and set the dinosaurs up around it with paper and colored pencils. It was the sweetest thing I have ever seen. It was his first magic act, and we got to witness it firsthand. We tucked him into bed and he thanked us again for bringing magic into his life. As hard as it was to see the magic leave for him, I was so proud of him for helping to keep it alive for his brother.

This Christmas is going to be hard. I’m already preparing for the questions about Santa and the disappointment that will come with the realization that he isn’t real. If Dinovember is any indication of how he will handle it, I think we are going to be just fine. Sad to see the magic gone completely, but knowing that it can live on in other ways – whether that is by helping keep it alive for a little while longer for his brother, or training for the day when he gets to be the magic maker for a family of his own.